Behind the Scenes-The Myth of Perfection

It's been an interesting month. With all of the events and projects I've been working on and whatnot, but nothing prepared me for what I encountered today. If you have or haven't read, the blog "Wearing History"by Lauren M., It's definitely an eye opener and something to consider, that even though we costumers, seamstresses, and even reenactors post perfect pictures of our works online, underneath it all, there is a story to tell of what went on during those days each of those posts were made, or those pictures were taken. Perhaps a bad day or something very deep that heavily dawned on their minds that hindered them from focusing on what it was they really wanted to happen. But never the less, we're not perfect. We are human, and we each have our own personal stories. For the challenge that Lauren M. requested, I'll do my share and take you behind the scenes of some of the entries I've posted.

Braddock's Day Ball May 2014

My husband and I were going through a rough time during the this time. We lived in a tiny apartment in the DC area and because of the rent being so high, me getting laid off from my job, and the little to no hours my husband was working, it was pretty rough. We ended up having to leave and move in with my mother-who was not exactly thrilled to have her daughter, her son-in-law, and cat staying with her. 

Fort Frederick 18th Century Market Fair 2014

I still feel very guilty for going to the fair that weekend. The night before, my mother fell victim to having a  TIA (mini stroke). While she checked out alright in the hospital and had to undergo getting testing in the morning, she said she had no problem with me going on with my weekend. I kept calling her every chance I got, because I felt guilty for going and not staying at my mom's bedside, even if the doctors said she was ok. 

My "Martha" photoshoot 2014

When this picture was taken, I was still heavily in thought about having to move back home to my mother with my own little family. The whole situation did not sit well with me, and even though my husband and I tried very hard to work extra jobs so we could get the money together to keep the apartment, it just wasn't enough. As soon as I got home from this, I had to fold all my costumes up and put it in the moving box. I don't remember if I cried or not, but I do remember feeling super depressed. 

Mount Vernon encampment/reenactment last weekend

While I was there for the weekend, my anxiety was pretty high. My husband was away due to  his activation in the National Guard, during the Baltimore riots. It was also my first time camping in an encampment before. It was a culture shock to me considering how I'm used to either staying in a hotel if we were to be out of state for the entire weekend, or going home the same day after an event was over for the day. I remember not being able to sleep and fearing that anyone could come into my tent (someone's dog almost did). To make matters worse, my "." hit, and it caused me serious abdominal discomfort and nearly throwing up. My Lieutenant ended up taking me home at 4:00 in the morning. I felt so embarrassed that I now only want to just stick with going to one day events. To add to this, this was about a week before I fired from my job today due to something that was completely out of my control. (i.e. today). 

So yeah. Life in general isn't pretty. But as much as it pains and embarrasses me to even post this so private thing to the public, it's all the truth and we all fall victim to short comings. Even though I try to make changes to bettering my family's situation, the one thing that won't change is my love for creating, my love of history, and sharing pretty things with you all whether that be through sewing, knitting, or just pictures of my adventures. But now that I've pretty much opened my heart out, maybe it's not so bad to share the little things or two of my life every once in a while. After all, we're all human. 

Just keep your head up, and your dreams soaring. :D 


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